


The Bucket List

by solgyu



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Bucket List, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of Death, mentions of an accident
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solgyu/pseuds/solgyu
Summary: “If you can't do it together, then do it on your own, do it for him,” he said, words were drilling inside Yeonjun's head. “Who knows, you might meet someone who'll do it with you,” the other continued, obviously teasing Yeonjun with the way he changed his tone.Where there's a notebook full of lists of what to do, and everything is up to Yeonjun.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	1. the notebook

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaah, i've been wanting to post this for quite some time :(( but here it is now! this is inspired by a movie i've watched ♡
> 
> updates are irregular, but nevertheless, i'll finish this,,, one way or another. mwaaaa, enjoy!

“Are you going to let that rot here inside your room or what?” Taehyun asked as he stopped rollicking with whatever he was doing on his phone when he saw Yeonjun holding a very familiar notebook in his hand.

The same notebook the latter has been holding each and everyday for the past 365 days, but never really opening it. Tempted so many times, but still chose not to.

“Of course not,” Yeonjun answered, almost sounding so defensive as he huffed and let go of the notebook, only to hold it back again and graze his fingertips over its garter. “It's been a year, you know.”

“Yes, it's been a year, and you still haven't moved on,” Taehyun rolled his eyes, eventually tangling himself with Yeonjun's bedsheets.

It's been two days since summer vacation has started, and because Taehyun had nothing to do, he chose to visit Yeonjun and pester him for the rest of the day. Same old, same old.

“I've moved on!” Yeonjun claimed, and this time, he sounded so defensive. “I've moved on…” he repeated in a hushed tone this time, saying it again to remind and convince himself that he really did move on.

It's been a year since Beomgyu passed away due to a car accident. Said boy was Taehyun's friend and Yeonjun's best friend. But somewhere along the years of being best friends, both of them know that there's something more than that. They never pointed it out, never questioned each other because of that, but their hearts knew what it was, and they're more than okay with that.

“But sometimes I still think of him whenever I see this notebook of ours,” said Yeonjun, eyes still looking at the hardbound yellow notebook he was holding. “It's normal.”

“But don't you ever want to open that notebook and see the rest of the bucket list he made for the two of you?” Taehyun prodded, eventually throwing his phone on the bed from so much frustration to see Yeonjun holding the said notebook. “Didn't he tell you that whatever happens, you two should finish all of those.”

“Exactly,” Yeonjun answered as a matter of fact. “If it's the two of us…” he trailed off, making himself sad at the thought that they can't do it together now.

But with a soft pat on his shoulder, and a smile that tried to brighten up his day, Taehyun answered.

“If you can't do it together, then do it on your own, do it for him,” he said, words were drilling inside Yeonjun's head. “Who knows, you might meet someone who'll do it with you,” the other continued, obviously teasing Yeonjun with the way he changed his tone.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yeonjun hissed and rolled his eyes, pushing Taehyun's hand away from his shoulder before laughing at the very thought.

Then he moved his head to look at a picture frame that he never removed from his study table since the day they became more than a friend to each other.

That boy who possessed so much sunshine in his body. That boy with a bruising smile. Those soft blonde locks. Those eyes which held more than one galaxy in it.

It's the boy who owned his heart in ways he can't explain.

“I don't think it'll be easy for me to replace him,” he said with so much firmness in his voice, no drip of uncertainty in it.

But Taehyun was there and he was good at retorting back. And so he answered, "I told you… who knows."


	2. continuing the list

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My heart is with you,” Yeonjun smiled, pressing the notebook against his chest as if it’s his most prized possession. “And so am I.”
> 
> Although it was hard, Yeonjun finally had the courage to continue doing the bucket list on his own. He was never alone anyway, because his heart is with Beomgyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after such a long time, i am now continuing this fic :(( i know it took so much time and i am sorry 
> 
> i'm going to update whenever i can now because i have made up my mind about the events i want to include all throughout the whole fic
> 
> i hope you all would love everything (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。
> 
> twt : gyuinara  
> cc : crownsfortxt
> 
> do talk to me~ feedback is much appreciated, thank you!

“Oh, my goodness, you're finally here! I've been dying to see what's next!” Taehyun screamed at HueningKai who just arrived to where they're supposed to meet, making the boy roll his eyes as he stood close to his friends. 

Said boy did small jumps from excitement, earning glances from those who passed by the library. HueningKai even had to hit Taehyun with his own textbook to make him stop from whatever he was doing because he’s starting to feel the secondhand embarrassment along with Yeonjun who covered his face with the yellow notebook.

And although Yeonjun and Taehyun just got out of the library for a quick binge reading of a novel written by Nicholas Sparks, the librarian went to stand behind the glass doors, shushing them for the nth time that day due to Taehyun's numerous gasps inside the library as he had to hit Yeonjun on his shoulders when the latter announced that he finally made up his mind to continue doing everything from the bucket list.

“I'm starting to regret informing you that I'll continue doing this,” Yeonjun said, carefully clutching the notebook in his hand, bringing it down to see the look on his friends’ faces. 

“You can't blame me, it's been a year or so,” Taehyun smiled, moving closer to his friends to link his arms and pull them to the nearest bench inside their university just so they can get away from the library before the old woman nags at them again.

Two? Three? Or maybe four. Yeonjun doesn't remember. 

He spent hours and hours last night, just staring at the notebook, playing with the garter that kept it closed, and then running his fingers on the gold graving on top of the notebook which says 'together'—something that Beomgyu did before sharing his thoughts to Yeonjun about making a list of things he wanted to do in his lifetime.

And as much as Yeonjun didn't want to reminisce, his mind drifted off to the day Beomgyu made him promise that no matter how tempting it was to scan through the pages, he shall not do it as they should do the list chronologically—not skipping any from the list or refusing to do something in it.

There's none that would send them to jail, Beomgyu joked that day, and Yeonjun truly believed him. And even if the latter didn't say that nothing bad was included in the list, Yeonjun would've done everything anyway, knowing how Beomgyu was a sunshine and his heart was purely made of gold.

“I'm very sure Beomgyu would want you to finish the list,” said HueningKai, all of them finally taking a seat.

Yeonjun couldn’t explain the deafening beat his heart was giving him. He barely opened the notebook, his fingertips were only tapping the edges, and yet his heart was running wild already.

Taehyun didn’t help either, making everything much more unnerving than it already was. His continuous clapping to put forth the excitement that bottled inside his body added to the loud banging in Yeonjun’s ears, driving his thoughts in a haywire although it was already tangled for how long he remembers.

“Quiet down, Taehyun. Don’t make Yeonjun withdraw,” HueningKai said sassily, showing his palm to Taehyun to let the boy know that the next time he makes another noise; he’s going to slam his mouth shut with the big palm of his.

“Fine,” Taehyun gave up with a sigh, invisibly zipping his mouth and then throwing the imaginary key away from them before putting his hands up to gesture that a fight is the last thing he wanted to do.

“Okay, here it goes…”

Yeonjun closed his eyes as he removed the garter that kept the notebook intact. 

Upon flipping the cover and slightly skimming his eyes open, the first thing he saw was a Polaroid picture of him and Beomgyu, glued in the middle with a note saying ‘made by Beomgyu, but will be completed with Yeonjun’.

His heart immediately swelled to see their picture, domestic and too attached, not just physically, but also with the way their eyes portrayed it without using words. 

Beomgyu’s arms were wrapped around Yeonjun’s shoulder from the back while Yeonjun took their picture together as he held the camera right in front of them. Both were all smiles, adding glow to their sunshine and rainbow kind of tandem.

If it weren’t for Taehyun and HueningKai’s reassuring touches to his shoulder, Yeonjun would’ve withdrew already. Their smiles were welcoming, very gentle, enough to tell the latter that whatever he’s going to do, it will always be alright. Or if it won’t be, he’ll find a way for it to be.

“Oh, so he hid what you’re going to do in each envelope in every page?” Taehyun asked when he observed those small sky blue envelopes as Yeonjun flipped every page.

“Yeah…” Yeonjun smiled, running his hand on a small envelope at the top left corner of the page. “He wants it to be a surprise so I won’t see it immediately,” he added, adding a chuckle along with his words.

The three of them spared some time to scan through each page. They talked about the little souvenirs Beomgyu and Yeonjun attached to the rest of the page which wasn’t occupied by the envelope. It brought a genuine smile to Yeonjun’s lips, letting the warmth embrace him and his heart just by seeing more pictures about the memories of them doing what’s in the bucket list.

“It’s just sad that I have to attach memories with me doing this alone now.”

It wasn’t Yeonjun’s intention to ruin the mood. Missing someone who meant so much would happen at times even when one doesn’t want to and Yeonjun’s just grateful when HueningKai and Taehyun would make him feel better by squishing the him, the two boys clinging onto him as they put their heads on each of his shoulder.

“He’s guiding you,” HueningKai said as he hugged Yeonjun’s left arm, his hair making contact of Yeonjun’s neck which tickled him, obtaining cute giggles from the latter.

“You’ll be okay,” Taehyun added, looking tinier as ever when he clung like a baby koala on Yeonjun’s other arm.

Yeonjun brought his hands up, patting both boys’ hair as he expressed his gratefulness to them. It wasn’t much, but he thought it was enough because he knew how appreciative his friends even with the littlest things he shows them.

“I will be.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Do not forget to update us.”

“Use Google maps the moment you step down from the gangplank.”

“You should have a power bank with you so we can contact you.”

“You have cash on hand, right?”

Yeonjun put his hands up to stop both boys from talking. He couldn’t help but laugh at them, realizing how they’re being nagging moms although they were all of the same age, him being the oldest among them three.

“Relax you guys, you’ve been stressing more than me,” Yeonjun informed the two, brisk walking along with them as he checked his bag one last time. “Well, this is in fact stressing the shit out of me.”

He looked up to see the flight he has to catch up to as it was the next from the bucket list: ‘Catch a last minute flight to Philippines.’

“Hurry up!” Taehyun screamed at both boys, running faster ‘til they reached the area where they were only allowed to accommodate with Yeonjun.

As soon as both boys let go of Yeonjun’s baggage, the boy pulled them in for a tight hug, both boys quickly melting at the warm affection Yeonjun was giving them.

“It’s not like we won’t be seeing you before class starts,” Taehyun began, pouting at Yeonjun’s shoulder as he hugged the boy. “You plan on finishing the list this summer, right?” he asked.

“Yes, as fast as I can,” Yeonjun answered shortly, hugging the boys as tight as his arms could do so. “I just need a hug from you two so I can keep myself whole and stay strong.”

“You will,” HueningKai answered, rubbing his nose on Yeonjun’s temple as he was taller than him. “We know you will.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bidding adieu to his friends was a lot harder than Yeonjun thought. Although endless and continuous assurances were given to each other, those three boys had to let out some tears at some point. The hugs they’ve shared weren’t enough to make up for the days they won’t be seeing each other.

But Yeonjun had to go.

As soon as the boy found his seat, he heaved a deep breath, eyes shining at the view of the airport from the window he luckily got. Yeonjun rested his head against the window, closing his eyes as he murmured some words to himself.

“I’m continuing it, Beomgyu. I hope you’re happy to see me up there,” then he opened his eyes, looking up at the clouds which made him feel a lot better.

And right before they were instructed over the few things they should follow, Yeonjun quickly took the notebook out of his bag, opening the page where he made use of Beomgyu’s old bookmark as his very own.

“I will fill you with memories,” he smiled, personifying the notebook as he ran the back of his hand against the empty sheets, dusting it off. “Catch a last minute flight?” he mumbled, bringing out an Instax to take a picture of the outside view from his plane seat. “Check.”

Their plane was already 50 feet up from the ground and they were one with the clouds when Yeonjun finished sticking his first picture on the same page where the goal was.

The feeling in his chest was quite overwhelming, still unable to name what it really was because it felt like it varies from time to time. 

But Yeonjun was sure that at that certain moment, his heart was joyful to continue what Beomgyu has always wanted to do. It made him miss him much more which Yeonjun will always feel, and he will never do anything to let that go away.

Beomgyu was a part of him that no one can easily replace.

“I’m not alone,” he whispered, tracing over the clouds they passed by. “I’m never alone. Right, Gyu?” Yeonjun asked himself, chuckling to see that the person next to him was asleep, not wanting for the said person to think of Yeonjun weirdly as he kept talking to himself. 

It was true, Yeonjun thought to himself. He was never alone, and he will never be, because Beomgyu still occupied a big part of him, and he always will. 

“My heart is with you,” Yeonjun smiled, pressing the notebook against his chest as if it’s his most prized possession. “And so am I.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Enjoy your stay, Sir.”

“I will. Thank you!” he cheerily answered, excited to do the next from his list which he actually saw already before he got down from the plane.

The employee which assisted Yeonjun gave him his key card which he politely accepted, watching the lady walk away from him before using it to open his door.

But right even before Yeonjun could even make use of it, he saw his next-door neighbor who was playing his own key card in his hands, not even thinking of the possibility that he might break it into two.

“Enjoy your stay, Sir!” he mimicked the employee, chuckling as he leaned against the door frame, leaving a dumbfounded Yeonjun who had his brows on a straight line.

“If Beomgyu saw you, he would've laughed at you,” he shook his head, twisting the door knob once again, voice was intentionally low so he won't be heard.

“What was that?” the boy asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and then flashing a million dollar smile as if he's trying to impress an unimpressed looking Yeonjun who only wanted to lie in bed because he's tired.

“Nothing,” Yeonjun answered immediately, getting inside because it has been a long day, no energy left to make an actual conversation with anyone.

And that is actually why he didn't hear the boy slash his neighbor when he spoke. 

“I am Soobin, and you are?”

**Author's Note:**

> please share your thoughts! leave a comment here and maybe talk to me on twitter? 👉🏼👈🏼
> 
> gyuinara on twitter


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